I hate myself.
I hate myself for being weak
I hate myself for being emotionless
I hate myself for being the girl who always submit to fate
I hate myself for being unable to lead the fate
I hate myself for being unable to express my feelings
At first I was convincing myself that I was strong enough to face everything by myself,
Even others have no doubt about that.
Until I broke my conviction
....
I started to be the girl who pretend that everything is great
I started to be the girl who can only keep everything left unsaid
I started to be the girl who can only say "I'm OK" even when I know I'm not
I started to be the girl who always pleasing others instead of my own feeling
I started to be the girl who always blaming myself for anything that happened
I started to be the girl who always succumb and regret it later
I started to be the girl who is disgustingly weak,
and I hate myself even more.
“Falling in love with yourself first doesn’t make you vain or selfish, it makes you indestructible.”
From that moment I started to convince myself (again) that I really am strong enough, and I have to love myself first.
Who else could love me more than I love myself?
And I tell myself that I'm definitely indestructible.
Okay, at least, I'll try.